The Dreaded Word!

If the word “cancer” is one of the most feared words in the English language or in any language, then “I have cancer” has to be the most dreaded phrase ever spoken. That dread and fear is intensified more when those words come from the mouth of a loved one. The night my mother said those words to us seems like ages ago. As she sat on our sofa and told us she had just gotten her test back and it was not good news…she had cancer. I sat there in disbelief! This happens to other people, but not my mom. I was in shock and much of the time after that is blank in my memory. I can’t tell you what was said or done. I just sat there. It is the first time that my mother’s mortality had ever crossed my mind. After my parents left, I went outside and lay in the glider out at the barn. The sky was clear and all the stars sparkled. I thought to myself, “What in the world are we going to do?” (Like I had a lot to do with any of it!) Then as I looked up, the answer hit me. We were going to do it just like everyone else who has ever had cancer did it…one day at a time. I knew my parent’s faith would give them strength and that God was with my mother, but there are always uncertainties and “what ifs”. But I would not let that cross my mind. My sister and I would talk and assure each other that “everything would be ok.” You see, I saw a T-shirt once that said:

THERE ARE TWO THINGS THAT I AM CERTAIN OF
1. THERE IS A GOD
2. I AM NOT HIM

I used these words to assure myself that God was in control.

In the following days, I witnessed very amazing events. I saw strength in my mom I had never seen. I saw my dad’s devotion to my mom grow in a way that I had never seen before; a devotion that had never been needed until now. And my sister…my sister went from being my “little” sis, to a “grown up”…a great support for us all, especially my mother. She went to all of mom’s appointments and explained everything that was going to happen; many that I did not want to hear. But what about me? What would I do? As a son, I really did not want to hear all the details. I could not go and sit through the appointments where they discussed doing surgery on my mom; but I wanted to be a support for her. Then came the answer. I am somewhat of an outdoorsman and I had heard of a gentleman that made paracord wilderness bracelets for a company named Paracord Joes*. So I went to his website and told him my story. I asked if he could make me a pink survival bracelet and Mr. Prevatte said he would be happy to and then helped me through the ordering process. It was obvious that it became important to him, because he started work on my custom bracelet immediately, even before he received payment. In less than a week, I received it and began to wear it. Of course, I received some funny looks. I mean, a man wearing a pink bracelet! Some asked why and I told them my mom had breast cancer and it was my way of supporting her.

The day of her surgery came and we all met at the hospital…EARLY! (Why doctors insist on getting folks up at the crack of dawn to cut on them, I will never know!) What I saw that day astounded me. People came in droves to support my mom. Her visitors filled and took over the whole waiting room. There were more than 25 people there and all stayed the whole four hours of her surgery. I was overwhelmed by their caring support. Those people took half of their day to sit in a hospital waiting room to show my family how greatly my mom was loved. My only regret is that I did not have them all sign a card and take a picture of all the people gathered.

I am happy to say that other than a few unexpected extra days of recovery in the hospital, my mom’s recovery has been fantastic. God has truly blessed our family. She got word from her doctors that she is cancer free; no chemotherapy, radiation or medicine needed! Christmas was a very special time this year. The greatest gift of all was being together and knowing that mom was ok. We opened gifts and did a lot of hugging and crying…except this time they were tears of joy. Mom and dad are going to Hawaii in March, which is amazing because they rarely go anywhere for that long or far away. And as for my pink survival bracelet, I still wear it but my story has changed. I no longer tell people “My mom HAS cancer”; I tell them “My mom HAD cancer.” It is no longer a “survival” bracelet. It has become a “SURVIVOR’S” bracelet; a wonderful reminder of the strength of a mother, the devotion of a family, the greatness of friends and wonderful grace of God.

*JT Prevatte can be contacted at paracordjoes.com. There is a full list of items for sale on that site.